If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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