Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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