It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
