The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wish I only lived at night.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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