u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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