oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
