I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
