You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
