i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
