FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
