Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
