You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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