Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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