There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
