Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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