Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
