i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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