college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
