i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
