I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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