he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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