Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
