Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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