I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
