Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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