Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
