I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize