I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
