just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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