There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
