i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
