I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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