Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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