I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
