Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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