bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize