would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize