I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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