Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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