You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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