If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
