Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
