Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I need water and some morals
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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