Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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