you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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