Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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