so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Found the puke drawer
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
