im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
