I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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