i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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