i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
