Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
