im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
