last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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