suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
