but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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