So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Mom said you looked used
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
