I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
