john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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