remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
