One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
