i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
