i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Randomize
