I don't think brook has ever known best
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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