Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
