i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
